bubbles everywhere,
umbrellas floating skyward -
damn Maharito!
Additional
Oh boy - Milon's Secret Castle. Where to begin? Well, to even begin discussing this game, I first have to address a peculiar situation I've come to notice that has cropped up over the past few years regarding the "shittiness" of various games. Now, most games commonly regarded as bad games among the gaming populace are typically bad games. However, it seems a new movement of those who are eager to point fingers in snide derision have surfaced ever since the arrival of James Rolfe's humorous videos in the guise of The Angry Video Game Nerd. Don't get me wrong, I love his videos just as much as the next guy and am a regular follower of his game-related rants - and damn, they do crack me up, but my problem doesn't lie with AVGN. It's with all of those jack-asses out there flooding various gaming forums and whatnot that can't form their own opinions on what games suck and why. So what games suck, I wonder. Mysteriously, they all seem to be games that AVGN just so happened to make a video of. Strange that a single person can have such a monopolized stranglehold on the unveiling presentation of shitty games. Stranger still, the unabashed platitude that all these blowhards spew out mercilessly happens to be the very reasons expressed in James's AVGN videos. Well I'll be a sonovabitch....
Now, I don't want to hog this entire post with my anger over internet idiots and their inability to think for themselves, but to properly express my opinions on this game, I feel I must. As far as AVGN's review of Milon's Secret Castle - I respect it, but I totally disagree with it. (To me, Milon's Secret Castle is a fantastic puzzle game, whereas AVGN condemns it as a shitty platformer.) But because his video even exists here in cyberspace, time and time again I happen across the following in various "worst game" threads: "You never know what to do. Everything is hidden. Your weapon is a crappy bubble etc etc (basically all the same rigmarole stated in AVGN's video). Wow, all I'm really getting from these posts is our new worst-game regime harshly casting judgment on a game based entirely on hearsay and the "now" popular opinion of why this game supposedly sucks. It all just makes me want to smash my head against a wall. Come up with your own fucking opinions for once!
But wait, you're just angry because people are hating on this game.
No. If people don't like this game, that's fine. But to hate it just because a popular video series included it is ignorant. And like I said, due to the content of such slanderous remarks resounding so coincidentally with AVGN's remarks, it's hard to think otherwise. Same with games like Action 52, Superman 64, Link: Faces of Evil or even (dare I mention) Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. Yea, these games look horrible, and they probably are, but you know what - I haven't played any of 'em (and I highly doubt a lot of other people have too, ok Superman 64 is most likely an exception) so I really can't state any sort of opinion one way or the other. Sure, I could throw out an opinionated perception of the game, but I just can't give an honest opinion until I've played them. So maybe these are the worst, maybe they're not. Point being, play the game before you state an opinion - and if you still don't like it, then there you go, and at least now you'll have your own reasons why (or so I hope).
Additional Comments (for realsies this time):
Enough of that, let's discuss the game. Hands down, this is one of the absolute best NES game I've ever played - so much so that if it's not in my top 5 NES games, then it's definitely in my top 10. I remember renting this game all the time as a kid. In fact, I think the only other NES game I rented more often than this was Micro Machines. The game is a terrific puzzle-based sidescroller with platforming elements and reminds me of other titles like Solomon's Key or Nail n' Scale. And I really think that's the key to this game - if you perceive it solely as an action-based platformer, then yea, I can understand why one might whine about it, but if you look at it as a puzzle game - then it's fantastic and cleverly executed.
True, everything, and I mean everything, is hidden in the most obscure, convoluted places, but to me, that's the core of the game - what possible secrets could still be out there? I think as many times as I've played this game over the years, I know there's still some stuff hidden in there that I'm not aware of. The story, though a typical "save the princess," does have an interesting lead-in, especially regarding Milon's background and the musical world of Hudson. The music itself is very typical of early NES: bouncy and rather charming. One of my favorite tunes is the Well Theme.
Anyways, for as much as I loved this game, the one thing that always disappointed me was the lack of a sequel, or so I thought for so many years. About two or three years ago, I learned about the Japanese-only release for the Super Famicon, Do-Re-Mi Fantasy: Milon no DokiDoki Daibouken. Holy Shit! That game is incredible! But I'll save all that praise for later.
Overall, Milon's Secret Castle is a great game that deserves a fair chance. And if you're playing it for the first time, or even for the nth time, you need to keep in mind what kind of game you're getting into. If you treat it purely as an action-platformer, you're going to end up discrediting it for all of the wrong reasons. Play it as a puzzle game and then discredit it for all the right reasons if you still don't like it. Otherwise, enjoy.
Nano-rant:
One other thing I should bring up, as I've seen numerous complaints regarding it, as mentioned some 5000 words ago - the usage of bubbles as a weapon. So what? Why is this such an issue to people? The last game I just reviewed, Illusion of Gaia, Will's using a flute, but no one seems to have any problem with that. Then again, I guess that's because he's thrusting it like a sword, but whatever....
Rating: 4.5 honeycombs out of 5
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