Pokédex how-to:
catch 'em and evolution,
then rinse and repeat
Additional Comments:
It's only taken me three years, but I've finally completed my Pokédex. Ok, obviously that's blatant exaggeration as I had put Ruby & Sapphire aside a couple years back while I tackled its predecessor: Pokémon Pinball, on the Game Boy Color and unfortunately let the game slip into a miasma of forgotten works-in-progress - a personal gamer's limbo if you will. In the hopes to clear a few games off said list, much like Al-Qadim, I returned to Ruby & Sapphire imagining it wouldn't take too long to put the game to bed, especially considering I had already racked up roughly 150+ of the vast plethora of cutesy, dopey, or outright silly creatures culled from the second generation of pocket monsters. If only Kecleon had already graced this list, but alas, it wasn't to be and little did I realize how this would come to pass as unforgiving misery. Ah, sweet ignorance....
With the completion of the original Pokémon Pinball, I've already recounted why I dared such a loony game to begin with. Good old fashioned console-based pinball is to blame, and if some children's fad of yesteryear need be attached for marketing purposes, so be it. Then again, considering the Black/Whites and now X/Y, can it really be labeled a fad? No. Pokémon, like Mario, Link, Donkey Kong, and other reputable Nintendo franchises can easily be labeled an institution. Besides, at least their name has been attributed to not just one, but two proper representations of console-style pinball constructs, unlike Mario and the abomination that is Mario Pinball Land. Bleagh.
Thing is, if the collection mechanic didn't exist, I imagine this game would grow stale at an unbelievable rate. While the boards are an impressive improvement over those found in the original Pokémon Pinball, they're still pretty static, condensed, and seemingly vacuous of wild bumper to bumper action. Essentially, the action packed aspect of what makes pinball a joy is left more to the imagination. Then again, the same could be said for most any console pinball game, but then when you consider brilliance like Alien Crush, it's not exactly a proper excuse.
Therefore, while on the surface it's a game of pinball, at it's core it's all about adding entries to your Pokédex by catching and evolving whatever the hell these strange little creatures are. When I first started this game some three years ago, I easily amassed 150+, like I said, and enjoyed it. After returning to the game, I found that most of my missing prospects were the shy recluses that refused to show their face. Much like Pinsir in the original game, I hate these assholes because they're not even proper rares according to their collection methods and instead rely on a bullshit RNG. I'd love to look through the tables in the game's code to see how some of these guys are called. Jirachi, on the other hand, should be impossible to find much like Mew, yet just like Mew, was incredibly easy to pick off because there's a very concise methodology on how to capture him. The same can be said for Groudon, Kyogre and Rayquaza, though honestly, I think one attempt through their bonus rounds should be more than sufficient - especially Groudon's. His bonus round is just the worst. I'm unsure what's the bigger nemesis here: the timer or those blasted falling rocks.
Surprisingly, even Latias and Latios proved easier to find than a couple particular isolationists and they're subject to a 1% chance of appearing in catch 'em mode. I'll admit, that 1% chance made them a chore to collect as well, but in my hunt for Pichu and Kecleon, I came across a vast assemblage of these rare and mysterious dragons. Hmm, not so rare after all it seems. Yet why is it so goddamn hard to hatch a Pichu? I must have spent two or three hours alone on continuously cycling through hatch mode; all to no avail. Finally, it came down to Kecleon, who I already spent several hours hunting on Sapphire's plains. I decided to try my luck on the Ruby board and bounced around for another unmarked amount of time. Where the hell is this fucker? I know the coy bastard is mocking me every time I stumble into his bonus zone. Fuck you, Kecleon!! (to be continued...)
All in all, Ruby & Sapphire is an enjoyable time killer, much like it's predecessor. The one advantage it has over it's predecessor, however, is that the boards better resemble actual pinball tables and play the part, despite their obvious console-like shortcomings already mentioned. Still, it's not a game I'd recommend to anyone, especially given its Pokémon oeuvre, but as a console pinball game plays far superior to its original. And again, like all Pokémon games, the music falls flat, yet somehow becomes mildly addictive over time. A couple songs that managed to catch my attention include Pokédex and Poké Mart - both quaint little piano riffs.
Nano-Rant:
Ah yes, the continuing saga of Kecleon hunting. When it comes down to it, I'm not so sure if it's the game or the RNG or anything withing the programming that I should blame for trying to acquire this accursed chameleon. Instead, I have to blame the internet. Why? Because there doesn't seem to be a lick of agreement on where exactly this thing is. While hunting down this final prospect; given the amount of time I already spent chucking balls into either Ruby's or Sapphire's catch 'em mode while on the plains as that appears to be the common consensus for his whereabouts, I returned to the now untrustworthy internet and searched anew as to where this dipshit resides. Sadly, every page I came across held horribly conflicting information. Some pages proposed some really wacky theories on his whereabouts, yet at the same time seemed reasonably sound considering how certain other Pokémon are found - namely those found within bonus stages. Needless to say, I tried them all, and as expected, they all led to failure. Finally, I resorted to watching a few Let's Plays, which for certain games like RPG's or platformers is no big deal, but for a console pinball game is just ludicrous. I might as well watch a Let's Play of Minesweeper. Seriously, why do these even exist? I'll tell you why: to verify where exactly Kecleon can be found. Restarted a round on the Ruby board, ensuring that I started in the forest and on my second catch 'em attempt found Kecleon. Thank you, mindless Let's Play videos. Pokédex complete!
Rating: 3 Claydols out of 5*
*Seriously, what the hell is that thing?
