XBLA - Dust: An Elysian Tail

Haiku-Review:

a wise invention-
tool of clout; of protection.
lo! a hittin' stick!

Additional Comments:

I love this game! Love, love, love...

Wait! What's this? A fresh game - something that hasn't been stinking up my backlog like a sack of old potatoes. Hot damn!

Thanks to Microsoft's Games with Gold, I was introduced to this gem of a game, though I wasn't exactly gung ho from the start. I was pleased to see an adventure/platformer mishmash, but I've often found myself leery of newer games befitting of the genre. All too often, these types of games come off as generic. Rarely do they ever introduce anything of note. Honestly, Dust is no different, yet I found myself strangely addicted to its vast amalgamation of game styles. However, it took some time before Dust grabbed me by its claws - or perhaps, his claws.

My initial observations of the game nearly soured my experience beyond the point of no return. Between the pop-up character scenes used to progress the story or for some quick witted banter - reminiscent of the cheesy storytelling tools found in some of the various RPG Maker's - and the game's emphasis on Metroidvania style design - a style I've never been the biggest fan of, though most of that likely stems from my general distaste for the two series that eventually spawned the portmanteau moniker - my expectations took an immediate dive. Add to that, the voice acting came off as juvenile, or perhaps it was just the script. Heck, the whole presentation felt rather puerile.

The game kept conjuring images of MapleStory or any other Korean made adventure/RPG bullshit saturating the web with its free to play atrocities. For much of the game, I was convinced Dust was conceived somewhere within the borders of South Korea. With its cutesy, anthropomorphic Disney-esque artwork, its cringing dialogue making me feel embarrassed lest I'm a tween, and even its adorable twin heart logo, I had a hard time imagining the game was anything but Korean. I was surprised to find out Dust was more or less a one man project dished out from the States. Maybe all my gaming facts have been given a good knock and I'm just confused over the whole matter. Anywho....

Despite my initial grumbling, I gave the game a whirl. By the time I got three screens in, the artwork completely won me over with those adorable deer prancing through the forest. Again, I feel a lick of embarrassment being lured in by such darling imagery, but it's so utterly captivating - the world, the characters, the details, the resplendent beauty of it all. Cutesy, anthropomorphic Disney-esque artwork? Sure, bring it on! Then again, I've always liked the early era Disney art style. It's true mastery of illustration.

When I learned about the Dust Storm and Fidget's ability to throw projectiles, I was sold on Fidget's annoying pre-teen banter. Her high hopes of impressing Dust with her three measly charged particles reminded me of one of my all-time favorite Calvin and Hobbes strips where Calvin hoped to belt Susie with a snowball only to see it fall inches from his feet thanks to gravity's abnormally strong presence on that particular day; also explaining his earlier breakfast mishap. Ah, imagination. Typically, adding characters purely for comic relief accomplishes nothing better than a plethora of bad puns and endless eye-rolling. I expected as much from Fidget in the beginning, but by the time I reached Aurora, I appreciated Fidget's worth in full, from her incredible attack potential to her childish sense of humor using modern sensibilities. Her uncanny ability to cull up the ridiculous: sleep combo, evil knife hands, stupid hat club etc left me chuckling with glee for most of the game. Her dialogue constantly teeters on the cusp of juvenile stupidity, yet entertains heartily.

For that matter, the dialogue in general was a nice escape from the typical heavy-handed drama found in most games. As a result, most games tend to suffer from overacting - Vay comes immediately to mind. Dust, feels far more natural in the dialogue department, though at times it may still feel forced, namely those dramatic scenes enacted by Dust himself.

Circling back to Fidget's comic relief and the general humor weaved throughout the game, it reminded me of The Bard's Tale. It's blatantly sophomoric at times, but careful not to overstep its bounds unlike the base attempts at laughs in, for instance, Fable. Additionally, much akin to The Bard's Tale, Dust was self aware, or insomuch that Fidget was self aware that she was nothing more than a character in a video game. I love when games do this, though obviously it has to be carefully done or it can go horribly awry. The Bard's Tale successfully "broke the fourth wall" so to say, and here, Dust managed similar effects with gusto, especially Fidget's astonishment when Dust manages to pocket one of Gappy's sheep. Besides Fidget's awe, Dust's response, or lack thereof, is priceless. After all, doesn't everyone have an unlimited inventory that can hold all manner of objects? Hmm, sudden memories of D&D's Bag of Holding are stirred.

It can be said that the fighting in this game errs towards monotony. Attempting to draw inspiration from beat 'em ups or fighting games, Dust offers up a handful of combos in your fighting arsenal, but sadly they're all pretty useless. Beyond feverishly mashing the X button or making strategic use of the Dust Storm, I found little to no need for any of the combos. Still, there's something to be said for mindless button mashing. Sometimes, it just works - think any quality hack 'n slash such as Gauntlet or the Dark Alliance series. While I sensed the game was trying to reach out to its brawler roots, its pacing placed too much emphasis on quicker action sequences - quick enough to blur the line from strategic battle sequences to mindlessly murder everyone and everything. However, if the game's reliance on brawler tactics succeeded, my enjoyment for the game would have definitely waned. I enjoy a good beat 'em up but Dust is neither the time nor place. In my opinion the fighting works as is, and though it may be repetitive, I thoroughly enjoyed it - enough to willingly play all four modes to 117% completion back to back to back in rapid succession.

There is one gripe I have, and if you know me, it should be predictable: unnecessary retailers flooding the land. Other than the one or two keys you need to purchase in order to achieve 117%, I never bought anything from the shopkeep on all four playthroughs. There's no reason to - no reason to buy curative creations, weaponry, materials, anything. First off, the monsters dump more than enough items to satisfy even the most intent hoarder. Add to that a blacksmith that can craft any given item at a moment's notice, granted you have enough materials, which even if you only fight a bare minimum of evil denizens there's a good chance you do, and soon enough your inventory will be overflowing with a vast cornucopia of items. And if you choose to sell any of the excess items - which honestly, I see no point - you'll only add to your already overabundant wealth. At no time, other than perhaps trekking through The Glade for an initial blind run, is it necessary to visit the shops for anything. Oh, the shops do have one purpose I suppose: to catalogue all the newfound materials gathered along your journey which I think is necessary for 117% completion. I'm not entirely certain to that claim however as I defaulted to registering every material out of habit.

A related complaint can be made about any and all of the healing items. They're all useless, especially once you acquire an item with regenerative properties. The only time I relied on food usage was during the final boss on Tough and that's only because I treated Tough more as a speedrun and by the time I reached the endgame, my various attributes were on the weak end of the spectrum. Every other difficulty I maxed out my attributes, but on Tough I definitely felt the affects of marginalizing my abilities. Perhaps that's the key to experiencing difficulty - sandbag your abilities, or heck, just use the Ugly Pendant. No, that's just the key to needlessly dragging out each battle scene. Boring.

But if the shop is the only thing I can genuinely complain about, than this game is golden. And it is. I thoroughly enjoyed Dust despite my initial apprehensions that I was about to play some shitty Korean grindfest. Everything I initially brooded turned out to be the very reasons why I loved the game. The artwork is gorgeous, especially Cirromon Caverns - yes, Fidget, it is beautiful. The voice acting is enjoyable, and overall the scripting is fairly well done. It takes a little getting used to at first, especially Fidget's campy teenage nonsense, but it's far easier to forgive, appreciate, and eventually adore than any of the over dramatic abominations typically found running rampant in video games. The overall gameplay certainly isn't top notch or groundbreaking, but the controls are tight, the game's intuitive and there's more than enough fun factor to go around. And then there's the music. Ok, some of the music accomplishes the basic requirements of game music: decent quality BGM's. But then you have tunes like Cirromon Caverns. I often found myself revisiting Cirromon Caverns above and beyond what was necessary just to listen to this song. It's one of those perfect mood setting pieces and fits beautifully with the otherworldly scenery.

Nano-Rant:

Ah! But I can't let the game off that easily. In Hardcore mode the game decided to become a bit of a dick by removing invincibility frames after being hit. Removing invincibility itself is not the issue, and definitely no reason to complain, but there's a particular area in lower Cirromon Caverns where the lack of invincibility proves that even a lighthearted game like Dust can be a real asshole at times. Because of the lack of invincibility frames, environmental hazards can become serious deathtraps as you're no longer allowed the privilege of escape under temporary invincibility. Add to that the unpredictability of bubble sprouts and some serious knockback and you've got a formula for all sorts of evil. Uphill spike jumps, bubble sprouts, knockback, and lack of invincibility - hoo boy, did I ever face evil straight in the eye. My deaths were far too numerous to count just to try and pass this one area - far exceeding all the rest of my deaths combined not only throughout the rest of the game, but across the other difficulties as well. And, yes, I truly wish I was exaggerating this point but I'm not. The one time I passed it successfully without error, I succumbed to an ignorant death later on down the road before I came across the next save temple. In the end, I had to manipulate my knockback in hopes the bubble sprouts would help me cross the evil spikes of evil as opposed to further impeding any progress.

Nano-Win:

I can't possibly ignore the brilliance of Mysterious Wall Chicken, an obvious nod to Castlevania and/or everyone's favorite Castlevania II moment of stupidity: the secret red gem whirlwind. Huzzah!

Rating: 5 demon blacksmith's out of 5*

*The worst kind of blacksmith.

XBLA - The Bridge

Haiku-Review:

how Newton's "folly"
awakes the strand of nightmares;
validates the bridge

Additional Comments:

The Bridge is easily one of the best games I've come across in a while. Like a few other games that garnered my complete adoration: VVVVVV and Katamari Damacy, to name but two, The Bridge relies on a sole mechanic. Using the triggers, the player rotates each of the stages either to the left or right, up to and beyond a full 360°. Essentially, the game is nothing but a nightmarish stumble through a series of demented tilt-a-whirls somehow encapsulating the works of M. C. Escher and Edgar Allan Poe.

The game came as a recommendation thanks to Limbo. Immediately, the whole black and white presentation grabbed me. I don't know what it is, but the lack of color in some of these modern games adds so much value to the overall experience. For the brief moment we get to see The Bridge's countryside radiate the full spectrum of the rainbow, it's stunning for sure, but breaks the maddening emotion of the game. But then, it's obviously the point as the nightmare fades into the familiar domestication that is reality. A definitive dividing line between despair and comfort must exist, and so exists the bridge between grayscale and beautiful chroma.

While the color, or lack thereof, drew me in, as though I fell under the sway of flagrant advertising, the gameplay played the part of a hard-sell salesman. Despite the obvious ease of The Loft, the very first room in the game, I was hooked. I didn't even have to see that the game was a series of logic puzzles. I didn't care what it was. I was sold. Maybe it took The Library and The Menace to truly lay down the blueprints for what was to come, but it was nothing more than gravy by that point. Shades of VVVVVV crept into my mind even though I knew these two games were worlds apart. It was that gut feeling that The Bridge was going to take a single premise and run it through a wringer until every imaginable application can be established over the course of the game. And the Quantum Astrophysicists Guild managed just that with flying colors.

Even when The Bridge begins introducing additional nuances such as x-axis/y-axis reversal teleporters, positive/negative variants of certain objects including the player, dual personas, or temporal gravitational distortion fields (which I still had a hard time wrapping my head around at times), the game never deviates from its core mechanic. Each additional layer of complexity meshes perfectly with the initial gameplay, unlike most games where a multitude of ideas can lead to muddy or awkward gameplay, not to mention a torturous set of controls. The Bridge, however, keeps it clean no matter how much stuff gets thrown at you: rotate, activate, and if necessary, some time reversal.

My only complaint, which I should note was only an initial complaint, was that The Bridge lingered on the easy side. That is until I opened up the mirrored chapters. I knew they were coming, but wondered what they were actually going to bring to the table. After all, when I see the term "Mirror" I think of the Mario Kart series. It's not exactly an increase in difficulty - more that it feels difficult only because what's familiar is no longer familiar. Naturally, I could only assume padding at this point as it was difficult to imagine some of these levels, especially those that are symmetrical, mirrored. I couldn't have been any further from the truth in my assumptions. The levels start as such, with a minor tweak or two - The Loft for example - but the difficulty quickly ramps with a interesting assortment of tricks thrown together in a diabolical hodgepodge of agony. Chapters Six and Seven were especially nettlesome as there were a couple of rooms in each hall that definitely put me through the paces.

Where some real aggravation sparked, however, was in the wisp collecting and the Inverter achievement which took place on Mirrored Garden. I must have spent a good hour or so attempting completion with only five inversions. Thing is, when I finally managed it, I was dumbfounded by how simple the solution actually was, but for some reason, I just couldn't envision it. Same situation happened when trying to collect the wisp on Mirrored Menace, which I think might have taken top prize for giving me the most grief only because it had to be done without time reversal. Although, when it came down to it, that turned out to be the least of my worries. The first time I did the level, I exited with relative ease. However, when I returned to retrieve the wisp, those five menaces annihilated all hope to proceed. I couldn't even manage the exit door anymore and I think it took me somewhere between 30 minutes to a hour just to pull off that simple feat again. With that much trouble, having to dump all those toothy grins on one side of the triskele proved impossible, or damn near impossible. Still, the difficulty of these tasks never reached the point where I found it unbearable. Perhaps the whole logic aspect kept everything in check which is often the case in puzzle games. No matter how hard a puzzle may get, logic dictates there's always a solution. Same can be said for any game, but health, life or other gameplay mechanics can add multiple variables that often twists black and white scenarios commonplace to puzzle games into experiments in luck. And although The Bridge adds its own dastardly web of variables, it's still just a simple traverse from point A to point B puzzle game. Then again, those gravitational fields possibly add far more variables then necessary when starting to deal with positive/negative menaces. At that point, up, down, left, and right seem to revel in complete chaos.

I have a pretty good idea The Bridge isn't for everyone, but for anyone into puzzle games, or more accurately, platform-ingrained puzzle games, it's a must play. It demonstrates taking a simple mechanic to its extreme with gusto and dresses it all up in some sort of creepy mathematical nightmare. I love it! In fact, I'd love to see a followup. To help enhance the mood, the game is blessed with a perfect melancholic soundtrack. Chance of finding examples are slim to none, so it's all the more reason to just check the game out instead.

Rating: 5 Konami codes out of 5

XBLA - Monday Night Combat

Haiku Review:

Gladiators meets
NBA basketball meets
Team Fortress 2...Yes.

Additional Comments:

So I'm at my friend's house, we're eating pizza and playing some videogames, when he asks me if I'd heard of MNC. He tells me a brief rundown of what it's all about, and, in theory, it sounds amazing. And as I state in the haiku review, it's exactly like that. Only with co-op. So, we download the demo to see how it plays, and we are having a blast. The co-op is engaging, the stylistic aesthetic is cool, the challenge is welcome, and the controls are decent. There's even a tower defense aspect of the game, because the main game type pits you against rushes of robots trying to overwhelm your money ball. To keep them away, you can shoot 'em, use your abilities on 'em, or buy turrets and set them up at designated spots so they can shoot 'em. We finish the one level that we were allowed to play on the demo, and we reiterate that we just have to download this game right away. So I drive home after a fun day with my friend, download the game, try my hand at playing it solo, and...I beat the entire game in twenty minutes. Apparently there's only one level to this game. Honestly, I don't know why I had such high hopes for an XBLA game. It's just a downloadable title, and if we're really honest here, we all know that they're like the retarded step-child of the gaming world. The games you really want to play all have discs and plastic boxes and cost $60 a pop (my GOD they're so expensive!).

Now, granted there are a couple other games modes here. I believe there are 3-4 total. But honestly, there's such little variety in the gameplay and level design that it might as well be the same dadgum thing. You have six characters to play with, only three of which are useful. Those being the Tank, Gunner, and Assault class. The Support is useless when playing by yourself or online (typically), the Sniper isn't very fun to play with and has a weak gun, and the Assassin has high and low points, but her health is so weak that she's not fun to play with. The presentation of this game is absolutely stellar, and that's probably the best part about this game. For a downloadable title, it is very polished in its design, and it actually took me aback when I first played it. Now, controls for a shooter are super important, and this game has decent controls, but it seemed like they just tried to cram too much into the abilities, and it seemed a little sluggish to me. The HUD is a mess and is really confusing. Also, whenever some of the enemies hit you, there's almost no indication that you're being hit. No vibration, no sound, and if I'm not mistaken, not even much of a response on the HUD. So you think you're doing great when all the sudden you randomly die without warning. The online play is a freakin' joke. The characters are WAY unbalanced, and the most popular character to play is the Gunner, and he's pretty much unstoppable. The online play has made me the maddest I think I've ever been with a game. Ever. I died so quickly and so often that it literally made me scream. And I'm talking one of those creepster, maniac, psycho screams that makes you think about going to therapy for professional help.

I've read that the creators are working on some of the issues of balancing and are adding new levels. Apparently they're going to add a couple of other things here and there and are giving away the first "expansion". I might download it. I'm still seriously pissed at this game. I almost doubt that they'll get it right. Man, I had such high hopes for this game, too. This is one game that proves that great graphics mean absolutely nothing when the gameplay has huge flaws.

Rating:  2.5 acronyms out of 5

Nano-rant:   This game owes me 1000 microsoft points.

XBLA - Marvel vs. Capcom 2

Haiku Review:      


Hundred point combos
are easy, choosing Iron Man
and mashing buttons.

Additional Comments:

When I first talked to Sir Iain about beating this game, he was under the impression that this was called "Shark vs. Capcom". Which I thought was pretty hilarious and epic-sounding. That sounds like one tough shark to have all of Capcom pitted against it.

I actually played this game a lot when my friend had this on the Dreamcast (RIP). And even then this game was both awesome and ridiculous. Nothing's changed really, save for some updated graphics and online play. For the most part, this is exactly the same as I remember. What I forgot was how easy this was to make hundred-point combos and how hard the last couple of matches are. Granted, I probably really suck at this game. But the best part about it is that all my friends suck equally as much or even more than I do, so it seems like I'm great at this game.

The premise of this game is really cool (and obvious): many of the characters from the Marvel Comic universe against many of the characters from Capcom games. I remember when I first heard about this, I thought it was a kind of strange mix, but it works. The problem is that, with so many characters, there are a LOT of characters that are foreign to me. Chiefest being Amingo (who is that guy??). But there are many others that they don't need at all. For instance, on the Capcom side, you need all or most of the Street Fighter cast, you need Megaman, Roll, Jill Valentine, and Strider. But who is Amingo and B.B. Hood, and Ruby Heart? On the Marvel side, you need the cast of the X-Men, X-Force, and the Avengers (and enemies). But why Spiral and Silver Samurai and Blackheart and Shuma Gorath? And why two Wolverines? It almost seems like there are characters in here just for the sake of having characters. Many of those ancillary characters aren't even worth playing with because they suck so bad.

When playing this game, you honestly don't need much of a tutorial, really. Pretty much all you have to do is know the buttons for the super combos, because if you have that down, you are pretty much going to win. I'm sure there is probably strategy and such, but if you just mash buttons, you'll be all right.

We're going to start a 10 point rating system (on a five-point scale with half-point increments), so here it is:



Rating:  4 comic hotties out of 5



Nano-rant:

Wait...there was a MvC 1 ??


Nano-win:

WHOA!!  Rogue is SO HOT!!