PC - 12 Labours of Hercules

Haiku-Review:

curious, the tasks
you can complete with these tools:
gouda, gold, and logs

Additional Comments:

To reflect on a myriad of Herculean tasks, first I must reflect on that of which I've stubbornly opposed for so many years. That which would prove to be my portal to a number of games I salivated over as I watched various Let's Plays or general reviews on YouTube, yet remained as games that would stay out of my reach as long as I stood my ground on the premise of spite and pure bullheadedness for my loathing of digital downloads, DRM, and a vast assortment of bullshit that has unfortunately become the norm in the realm of gaming these days. It's time to admit my long enduring personal battle is for naught; that times have changed, and I can either get with the program or resort solely to nightly YouTube viewings as my only means to experience some of these gaming wonders. Crap. You win, Steam.

Most people, nay, everyone would likely call me an idiot for purposefully giving Steam the cold shoulder for so many years. That's fine. Frankly, I don't care. But I also don't care for the idea of leasing; be it games, music, books, whatever. I've long been an opponent of everything existing in the digital realm, plain and simple. However, slowly accepting the inevitable, the Wii, Wii U, Xbox 360, and Xbox One have helped guide me towards this abomination to material goods. Ok, maybe Steam has suddenly opened up a truly impressive library of games for me, and that's fantastic, but I still despise the medium with all the hatred my black, twisted, little heart can muster.

Eh, if I'm still so livid over the whole concept, why'd I finally concede? Two reasons. The first is a marvelous little city builder called City: Skylines. This game blew my mind when I chanced across it on YouTube. Immediately, I sought it out and fell downtrodden after learning that you could only get it via Steam (although days later I learned it would be coming to Xbox One in 2016). Still, this was the first game I had come across that put enough of a fire in my belly to finally stand down and accept all the wonderful bliss that Steam has to offer, even if it goads my principles with its digital BS. The second reason, which coincidentally occurred just a few short days after discovering Cities: Skylines, I came to possess a free Steam gift card. It's as if a shining beacon lay before me, cajoling me with all the tools necessary to venture forth. Yet at the same time, it simply said to quit my bitching and accept this window into a wonderful realm of gaming. Fuck it.

So how do I find myself here? The game was ninety-something cents, and quickly viewing a clip over on YouTube proved convincing enough that the game's well worth the tiny price...I hope. The 12 Labours of Hercules is a simple time management game that plays either as a casual time waster or as a brutal test in multitasking depending on the mode. To be honest, I've never played a time management game, at least that I'm aware of as I assume they all more or less play out exactly the same. Had the genre been described to me in full detail beforehand, I'd likely pass on the game. It sounds boring, and in many respects, it is. However, a funny thing happened. I found myself completely wrapped up in the game within just a few short levels. I'm not sure why as there is very little to the game. It's equivalent to a mobile game, which isn't surprising since it eventually found its way onto iOS and Android devices. Essentially, it's something to pass the time.

There's something to be said for games that act as tools to pass the time though. There's obviously some element of enjoyment stuffed in there, otherwise even boredom itself would prove gangbusters in the face of this stuff. Perhaps they're simple at their core, but often enough, simplicity can prove to be a wonderful direction in gaming. A number of my favorite games rely on some of the most rudimentary mechanics. VVVVVV and Katamari Damacy are two prime examples. At the heart of it all, there's really nothing to either of those games, yet what the developers manage to concoct with such an elementary premise is nothing short of magnificent. In a way, 12 Labours of Hercules is in a very similar boat. I wouldn't call the game magnificent, but it is a joy to play, and kept my attention long enough to try and get three gold stars on every single level in Expert mode. Hell, it convinced me to download the sequel, and unless the developer just completely missed the mark, I foresee the third title to follow suit. Very few games make me want to rush into the sequels, and I believe it takes a special amount of wonder, joy, and excitement to manage such a feat. Surprisingly, 12 Labours of Hercules did just that.

I have to admit, the game screams of mobile relations. The overly lavish yet lighthearted cartoon graphics had me on the fence. I typically shy away from games dressed up in this particular graphical style - a style that feels too contemporary, but not exactly cutting edge. It's a style that feels like a safe middle ground used specifically to attract the casual crowd. Usually, I consider that a red flag; at least in regards to those games I have a genuine interest in. But then, as I amble tenderly through my workload clearing debris, collecting cheese, and chopping down trees, I find the graphics to be the perfect choice. The game is so happy-go-lucky at heart, so it's only appropriate to present it as such. Otherwise, how else would we still find Hercules endearing despite wasting his days sleeping in a hammock while a subdued Cerberus, Medusa, Pegasus, and a bevy of slaves do all the dirty work. I'm sorry, servants, but we know what they really are. Or dare we suggest such a lighthearted game depict an eromenos (i.e. boy lover)? How foul of me to suggest such a thing. Servant it is then. Nevertheless, it's ok, great hero. We'll call for you when we need a giant boulder lifted, or.... What the hell else did that lazy bastard do? But we can't truly be mad at Hercules. Look how adorable he looks catching Zs, perhaps dreaming about how he's been miraculously sucked into a twisted time flux where he's somehow performing his dozen famous labors before the need ever arose out of penance for Megara's murder at his hands.

Wait. If Megara's still alive, then... What the hell is going on here? Who am I kidding? With such a playful tone running rampant throughout the game, should I have ever expected the game to be faithful to the events as commonly told in Greek Mythology? That would be equivalent to accepting any number of Disney movies as canon. Sure, the wondrous retelling of Pocahontas is entirely authentic in that made for family, Disney sort of way. As is the case here. There's no need to be gruesome and demoralizing. Megara was simply kidnapped.

In truth, I'm only snide and sarcastic because I can be. There's no real need to pick apart the story, or poke holes in the obvious mythological faux pas. But at the same time, the casual nature and retelling of Hercules' mighty deeds is ripe for ridicule only because there's nothing else to complain about. The sum components come together to make a brilliant game that proves highly addictive. And what I found to be the icing on the cake is the difficulty. Whether you play on Casual or Expert, the difficulty grade is perfect. Casual is clearly manageable but still tight enough on time to at least keep a relative sense of impetus whereas Expert really piles on the anxiety as you constantly eye the timer trying to best lay your strategy along the deteriorating Greek roads. Run, you stupid fools, run! For such a simple game, the tension is real, yet incredibly exhilarating.

Expert mode especially grabbed me because that's where the game comes into its own. The amount of laborious permutations is enough to make your head spin and the final world can really rattle your nerves as you try and figure out the best course of action. Several levels griefed the hell out of me as I worked toward the triple stars. Questioning and constantly second-guessing the workload proved to be a test in insanity as I often found myself repeating the same pattern yet for some reason, expecting different results. It's as if I wanted to prove the game wrong. I just know the workshop and farm need to be built before the store. My stubbornness got the best of me and I found myself repeating levels far too many times. Like an idiot, I somehow believed Expert could be played similarly to Casual as far as strategy was concerned. At least I realized the importance of the Horn of Plenty, though I still jumped at the opportunity for a bonus worker even when it was clear as day that a bonus worker was the worst possible option to strive for. Ah well. Through our mistakes we learn. Even if we make a few dozen of the same exact mistakes. Eventually...we'll learn.

Another element that added just enough variety to the game was the final stage, known as mini-games, in each area. Essentially they take the role of bosses. They're not exactly difficult. If anything, the levels themselves are far more difficult than the mini-games, but then, I don't think that's the point. Carrying the appellation of mini-game should be clue enough that they're simply a device to break the trend of time management throughout the rest of the game. Now, they're not great, at least compared to the core mechanics elsewhere, but they're appreciated. The healing of Chiron may be my personal favorite only because it broke the mold from simply power clicking the mouse button over the boss by adding a pharmaceutical scavenger hunt.

Finally, 12 Labours of Hercules continued its trend of salivating addiction with its music. Much like the game itself, there's really nothing special there, yet I found it oddly satisfactory; fitting even. The music never exactly insisted upon itself as exemplary aural candy attempting to draw attention away from the task at hand, but played the part of background enjoyment to a T. Tunes like BGM2 or BGM3 demonstrate exactly that.

Unfortunately, 12 Labours of Hercules is a game that I don't think I can recommend, in good conscience, at least to everyday gamers, only because it plays as a guilty pleasure. To fans of the genre, I totally recommend the game, otherwise I feel as though I should wash my hands of the game, like Hello Kitty: Happy Party Pals or the two Pokémon Pinball titles. But I think that's the tragedy of casual games in general. Even the best of the best are hard to pass along only because few sensible gamers would ever wish to admit enjoying such endeavors. So, in hopes to avert such tragedy in the name of brilliant gaming, I hereby decree 12 Labours of Hercules a fantastic gem of a game that, if anything, proved to me that Steam was totally worth the hit to personal principle, and I have to applaud it for that alone.

Rating: 3.5 lazy, pederastic heroes out of 5

Expect More of the Same Old Gobbledygook

As in, more of the same anniversary nonsense already spoken over the last few years. So instead, forget it. Go read one of the old anniversary posts if you actually have an interest in any of that baloney. Consider me the cynical codger of Beat All Games - well, have I ever been anything but?

Game completion has rather fallen off in the past few months, and motivation to write these long winded opinions has slowly grown tiresome. Proof in the pudding is my last update regarding the Eighth Annual Vanilla Level Design Contest. I finished the game back in early May, began writing the post shortly thereafter, and...here it is three months later and the post is finally published. Truth be told, I doubt I really hit up all the details I originally outlined as I'd forgotten a number of them as time passed. Does it really matter? I'm not going to kid myself. It doesn't.

In a way, Beat All Games is a site for me as opposed to anyone out there who may actually stop by. Consider it a log. I suppose I could just use GameFAQs' database to accomplish the same feat, similar to Goodreads or Discogs, but through Beat All Games, I feel like I can put a far more personal spin on everything - like a literary interpretation of a YouTuber's means of logging and reviews. I'll stay with the channels I'm most comfortable with as a means to personalize my tiny foothold in the already over-saturated market of video game impressions, judgments, and all around critical opinions - the written word.

But with my growing apathy towards continuing Beat All Games' 5000 word essays - actually, that's a bit of an exaggeration; my longest post to date has been 4228 words while my average is still hovering around 1260 words; silly Batman and it's meek 187 word prototype - does that spell doom for this project? I doubt it. I'm fairly certain I'll keep hammering away as long as I'm completing games. Only, since early May, I haven't even come close to completing a game. I've ventured into material that's held my attention for a long time and has no sign of letting up, and unfortunate for this site, end game is sort of a precarious concept. Games like Project Cars, Neverwinter, Super Smash Bros. for Wii U, Fallout: New Vegas, and Cities: Skylines have all managed my undivided attention, and though I have set goals to signify job well done, I doubt I'll see them for a long long time. But these aren't the only games I've been tackling on an on/off basis. I have a number of games I bounce back and forth between, but my attention span comes and goes. I haven't found a game that's kept my undying attention from beginning to end in a while. Maybe I'm just picking the wrong games. Or maybe the above games have sucked up so much of my time my mind's become fickle when it comes to playing a title in which I could potentially manage completion sometime in the foreseeable future. Ah well.

Maybe I just need to bounce over to something quick and easy, like Mega Man 4 or Sonic the Hedgehog 3 instead of all these lengthy RPGs I somehow find myself playing as of late. Maybe I need to finally do the last few necessary goals I've set in New Super Mario Bros. U, Limbo, or Super Time Force so I can finally write about how great those games are. Or are they?

Maybe I realized Beat All Games has taken some of the fun out of video games for me, and maybe, for the sake of pure, casual enjoyment, it's time to shy away from OCD completion - at least for the purpose of this site and any hope for its future. Shy away from OCD completion altogether? I doubt it.

Anyway, hats off to five years of completionist gaming and unnecessary dissertations.

SNES - Eighth Annual Vanilla Level Design Contest

Haiku-Review:

impressive travels
through a level potpourri
thanks to the Central

Additional Comments:

Another year, another Vanilla Level Design Contest. After the well deserved accolades of the 7th, I couldn't wait for the 8th. Much like the 7th, I chose to distance myself during the contest and afterwards as much as possible so I could let the finished product sink in as a worthwhile surprise. Am I ever glad I did because there's some genuine jaw-dropping moments mixed in there.

Again, for those unfamiliar, the Vanilla Level Design Contest is an annual event held by one stop shop for all your Super Mario needs of yore, SMW Central. What's it say? 'The Super Mario World hacking site.' Fun. The point is to design a one off level using the primary tool used for slicing Super Mario World to pieces, Lunar Magic, and nothing else. And despite being the 8th in a long running series, this years entry is only the second to be plastered together as a singular game - a collaboration in some respects, but more precisely, a masterful compilation of ingenuity and creativity that can give the game's original level set a serious run for its money.

Truth be told, I paid little to no attention to the first six VLDCs. Scratch that! I paid literally zero attention to the first six VLDCs. To this day, I've seen maybe a small handful of levels scattered across YouTube from a smattering of links throughout SMWC used as reference points for level design theory, or standout entries for one reason or another - and not necessarily always on the favored side. I've seen a level or two that made me say, "Good job," but nothing ever grabbed me to the point that I wanted to go back and hunt down all the entries from a given year - if that's even possible anymore. I think a good number of levels have been permanently lost in the abyss of time since they were all presented as single .ips's as opposed to the now canon compilation ROM. Again, I'm unfamiliar with how the first six contests worked, but if there's one innovation the VLDC has seen during its tenure that I fully support, it's the compilation ROM.

The idea of bringing all the levels together into a single work helped to springboard my own efforts to actually have an interest in the contest. By interest, I don't just mean designing a level myself to throw out there and see how it fares with SMWC's fantastic cast of designers, but to envision playing a selection of high quality levels that had no worry of being burdened by superfluous "necessities" of modern gaming, that is plot, and cohesion, and the general gloss of paint and sparkle used to make games appeal on a more casual level. Here, the results, trimmed to the bare bones of platforming design theory, we're left with an almost more cerebral product as we experience a multitude of micro environments attempting to analyze why so many of us simply enjoy run and jump Mario mechanics, and how to best make use of them. Nearly everything else is thrown out the window; even difficulty.

As expected, VLDC7 did just that. Sure, there were a few pitfalls here and there, but that's to be expected, be it beginners to the scene, designers who just don't quite have the vision to put a cohesive, working design together, or simply trolls out for a laugh. But then you have those who know their craft and build some stunning levels. In many respects, VLDC7 exceeded my expectations.

Therefore, it's only natural to expect so much more with the subsequent contest. After all, we've had a chance to see what works and what doesn't in the collaborative, or compilation aspects of the hack. And designers looked to step up their game, whether it was to exceed their previous scoring, or merely outshine the best of the best from the previous contest(s). (For those interested, I was one of the few...eh, probably only, who didn't go into VLDC8 with that mentality. Well, I did at first, but decided to move forward with an extremely experimental concept which ended up ranking far higher than I expected. I was pleased.)

VLDC8 did not disappoint...that is, to a point, but more on that later. Some of the designers not only upped their game, but came out swinging. Akin to VLDC7, several levels managed a wow factor due to clever graphical manipulation. Cakewalk Cavern, Peachpuff Peaks, and Waterflow Temple come to mind. Waterflow Temple is especially noteworthy only because I felt it necessary to take a magnifying glass to the screen trying to figure out from where half the graphics hailed. Sadly, the level design didn't quite match the intricate detail put into the visual presentation, but then again, that usually turns out to be the case.

Regarding generally accepted level design principles, the usual suspects rose to the top. For me, the standout level was once again, Morsel's. Municipal Swimming not only proved to be a fun and exciting level to play through, but it stretched the boundaries of "vanilla" to the very edge. In fact, it was the only level that left me scratching my head wondering how he pulled off a single trick - the leftward autoscroll. All the other interesting tricks in the level I'm well aware of thanks to the VIP series, but before VLDC8, I had no idea that a leftward autoscroll was possible without resorting to external code. Then, to top it off, the level is an underwater level, the bane of nearly every gamer out there, yet manages to articulate general gratification at every turn to the point where you begin to forget you're having to tread water the entire time. Even Crystal Reef Garden proved that underwater levels need not be a chore, and much like Waterflow Temple, expounded wondrous atmosphere throughout. Maybe not through devilish MAP16 trickery, but through color and general level architecture.

Other than Municipal Swimming, I can easily find discerning issues in the other levels mentioned thus far; be it Cakewalk Cavern's incredulous length or Peachpuff Peaks' excessive sense of bombardment, but overall, these are the types of levels that put me in awe. These are the levels that made me believe VLDC8 took a victorious step forward from VLDC7, along with the game's marvelous post game content. Yet somehow, the remaining majority of the levels felt so blasé compared to the previous entry. Maybe it's that VLDC7 introduced me to the overall best of the best, regarding innovation and imagination compared to a lot of the stuff typically produced. Having been around SMW hacking for a number of years now, the sense of excitement has slowly dwindled. There's still some amazing stuff that comes along and completely knocks off my socks, but the frequency or amplitude of that feeling has become few and far between. VLDC7, for the most part, managed that with stuff like One Sunday Morning, Snake Eater, and the secret area of Cavern of Pandora, but even a good deal of the mediocre material gave me hope for a pioneering continuum.

Understand, mediocre material must always exist, otherwise, how would be ever spot the great or the terrible. There has to be a middle ground. Problem is, the middle ground of VLDC8 felt like it took a step backwards which in essence, felt like it made the project as a whole retrograde. Not significantly, but enough to be noticeable. It may be hypocritical to grouse over such a matter when my own level was, on the surface, an uninspired run-and-jump characteristic of those scattered throughout YouTube by Lunar Magic noobs further adding to the idea that so much of the game feels pedestrian. I'll accept such judgment, except under the condition that people at least understand the premise of the design.

Then there's the stuff that just makes you claw your fingernails into the arms of your chair. Sure, there's facepalm material, after all, that's the purpose of the Worst World. Scoop up all the garbage. But there's no point in ranting over any of that. The levels speak for themselves. It's the levels that honestly try, or so I hope they do, and somehow just fuck it up. Variety Path is that level. I found Variety Path to even outshine some of the idiocy or nonchalance running rampant in the Worst World. The level of frustration this one level gave me was unparalleled. Even attempting to tool run MarioYOLO's Adventure was more fun.

Second to Variety Path's total failure in design theory was free rein graphical insanity. This includes using foreground objects in the background in such a way that they can easily be mistaken as foreground. There were two or three levels that abused this and frustrated the hell out of me. I don't mind graphical trickery when it's relevant to the design, but it need to instill a proper sense of depth. Once the two layers become a disorienting mess, you lose all sense of confidence in any of the architecture. Needless deaths to pursue. And then there's the madness that is Fez 2. I understand the subject matter - it's just not for me.

But Variety Path, Fez 2, or any of the bottom feeder shit didn't fit the description of culprit when it came to why the game as a whole felt weaker than its predecessor. It was the middle ground. There was just way too much of it and somehow took a bit of a stumble in comparison to VLDC7's middle ground. That's not to say the game isn't amazing. It is, and compared to 99% of the SMW hacks floating around in internet land, it's a superior model of gameplay and level design and still exuded incredible amounts of fun and excitement. Despite my personal reflections compared to VLDC7, I'd recommend the game just as much as I would the former to anyone interested in seeing just how far vanilla hacking has come in the world of Super Mario World.

Nano-Controversy:

Just like VLDC7, I strongly disagree with the winning entry. Subterranean Canal is impressive - a definite top ten level - but it's not a winning level in my eye. As I already mentioned, Municipal Swimming should have nabbed that prize, but whatever. Opinions. We all have them. My issue with Subterranean Canal is after seeing some of the brilliant Kaizo-esque innovation in parts of Cavern of Pandora, as we all know worldpeace is more than capable of, Subterranean Canal felt a bit flat to me. Instead, it merely felt like a contemporary take on The Horrifying---- from the first VIP game. Didn't care for it much there; didn't care for it much here. Suppose the RHYTHM section's impressive in design, but even there, the execution feels off.

Rating: 3.5 P's in the swimming pool out of 5