SNES - The 7th Annual 'Vanilla' Level Design Contest

Haiku-Review:

again: adventure...
through individualized
interpretations

Additional Comments:

Unlike most of my commentaries, I have a sneaky suspicion this one may fall on the short end of the spectrum. Why, you may ask? Well, this game, er...hack of Super Mario World is more a collection of 80-some odd levels designed by 80-some odd individuals for the purpose to be judged in an annual contest held on SMWC. Ah! But there's a unique difference between this contest, and the six that proceeded it; that difference also being the reason why my first and only entry in the Vanilla Level Design Contest series is lucky number seven. SMWC's 7th Annual Vanilla Level Design Contest was proposed as a contest in which the entries can be combined together to create a single collaborative hack - or perhaps compilation hack is a better term. For the first time, instead of fishing through a sea of .ips files and patching countless .smc's, every single entry can be played as a single ROM under the guise of a completed game.

Still, it seems to be a rather silly entry for Beat All Games, but then again, the credo for Beat All Games is to beat all games, and it's hard to deny this particular title's credibility as a game. But unlike every contest in the past, I had a keen interest in playing this hack. For one, I enjoy collaboration hacks, especially more of the compilation style hacks such as the VIPs where there is a wide selection of level design philosophies present: from the brilliant, interesting, and out of the box ideas, to the horrible, boring, and dickish. Everything imaginable, but more so, the unthinkable, has the potential of making an appearance. And for me, that's the joy. It's like taking a ride on the wild side; playing rebel to all of the conventional gaming ideologies.

But there's more to my own VLDC playthrough wishes. For the first time, levels offered by a number of SMWC's esteemed designers could be found on a single ROM. In some respects, the hack could be treated as a sampling of a fair cross-section of competent level designers within the SMWC community without having to play an equivalent number of hacks. Not to say that's a bad thing, but I don't exactly have the desire to play nothing but SMW hacks. Been there, done that.

And finally, perhaps for a more sinister, albeit personal, reason, I can enjoy a game in which I had a tiny hand in helping create by being a designer of one of the 82 (not counting Switch Palaces) levels. Consider it thinly veiled self promotion. Eh, call it opaquely coated, as I'll purposefully neglect to mention which level is mine - we'll say for intrigue's sake.

To comment on the game though is difficult as best. It's a fabulously put together hack, and despite the game being completely open from the beginning, feels like a cohesive product. For obvious reasons, the difficulty scaling is absurd, but that can be and should be overlooked. Otherwise, the game comes together nicely, as though it truly is a grand adventure through some mysterious land that would easily ring familiar with our audacious hero, Mario. Be it an inviting forest, a mystical desert, or a perilous climb into the sky, there's more than enough of the usual fare to keep the more absurd level ideas grounded without discouraging the player. Yet, there's just enough levels seeded in madness to keep the player on their toes - from a cave that's inside-out to an epileptic's worst nightmare.

Depicting a long list of arbitrary levels thrown together in a hodgepodge of organized chaos seems hardly a case to call this a proper game though. But then you have the icing on the cake: a beautifully designed overworld and a fantastic soundtrack consisting largely of remixes on original Super Mario World themes created especially for the hack by some of SMWC's top composers. A couple favorites include the Here We Go! (Abstract Remix) (it's so non-Mario-esque, yet carries enough of the original melody to alleviate any fears that the game's deviated too much from the norm) and the Athletic Remix (somehow, this version conveys the intention of the original song better than the original song). Meanwhile, original compositions such as the Mountain Map and the Worst Map (believe it or not, I find this to be the best piece in the game as it accomplishes its desired mood perfectly) bring the game to further astonishing heights. It's wonderful details like this that helps blur the line between design potpourri and conscientious work, yet still maintaining its roots as a platform for showcasing entries intended solely for a contest. If it weren't for a few of those one levels and an open world, you'd swear the hack fulfilled aspirations originally intended from the very beginning as a proper Mario adventure. Then again, in a way, it did exactly that.

Rating: 4 unscrupulous number jokes out of 5*

*Hmm...another SMW hack with yet another pointless marijuana reference. Should I be surprised? I don't know. I'd think a simple 404 or BRK equivalent would be more appropriate. Though BRK's hex of 00 would be lost on all but the very few. Fuck it! Sex and drugs? Why not?

CPC - Sorcery

Haiku-Review:

a labyrinth of doors:
should I use a key? No, Wait!
I'll use a bottle

Additional Comments:

And now for something completely different.

Different indeed! While toying around with various Intellivision emulators in my attempt to finish up Advanced Dungeons & Dragons since my actual Intellivision and TV don't care to communicate, I found myself looking through some of the more obscure emulators I've managed to collect over the years. I had gotten a hold of a couple emulators for the Amstrad CPC computer system and have been eager to try some games out but I've never had luck getting any of them to work. Much like the games offered on the Commodore 64, I was both mesmerized by the primitive graphics and the incredible soundtracks that graced any number of CPC games as seen in a variety of YouTube videos I perused out of curiosity.

Sorcery just so happened to be a game I picked out of pure happenstance to test out some CPC emulators. Turns out, after poking around on the net for information on the game, that its highly praised by fans of CPC gaming. Lucky pick, I suppose. Perhaps I should take up the lottery. The copy I found had a few POKEs, essentially cheats for us console laymen, pre-installed. Not knowing what the questions were in reference to, since they were in either Spanish or Portuguese - it escapes me at the moment - I randomly hit yes or no. Though, truth be told, I feel a bit silly admitting as such since I realized after the fact, and once I got a few minutes of gameplay under my belt, that the questions weren't all that difficult to translate. This is, of course, flagrantly disregarding any use of Google Translate I could have taken advantage of should it be of such concern.

While simple enough, Sorcery is a confusing blend of puzzles and level navigation. Haphazardly turning certain POKEs on only makes matters worse. The true purpose of well over half the items escaped me while I finagled my way past creepy denizens with unintended invincibility. Only the vast array of locked doors and hatches curbed my magical adventure. The thing is, I wasn't exactly aware that I had cheats set up, which only intensified my confusion over what I saw on screen. The idea of integrated POKEs was completely foreign to me and I never imagined I had the ability to turn on full cheats at the drop of a hat. But after some further research and full translation of the POKEs menu, I finally had a grip on reality - or at least the reality of what Sorcery's all about.

A few weeks later and armed with a better understanding of its mechanics, I stepped back into the CPC arena. POKEs eliminated, I plunged ahead looking forward to experiencing the game for what it really is. After all, though my initial foray was mired in epic confusion, I enjoyed my miniature adventure piloting the lone sorcerer around a magical kingdom filled with strange retro computer wonders. I saw hope in this game and had every desire to return for a full playthrough. And though I may be ignorant or inexperienced in the ways of computer gaming from yesteryear - or any year for that matter - I could see why Sorcery was held in high regard. Despite its primitiveness, the game immediately grabbed me as a fun, yet quirky, little puzzle platformer.

But alas, even with my newfound knowledge, Sorcery is a bewildering door maze that calls for run after hopeless run of trial and error. Other than a couple obvious clues, it's a total crapshoot as far as how and where a majority of the items are used. So, it wasn't just the unbeknownst cheats that affected this convoluted labyrinth of doors and keys. Do I use a key or a bottle? Ok, keys are for doors and bottles are for hatches. No, wait. Keys are for hatches and bottles are for doors? No. Sometimes keys are for both doors and hatches, but so are bottles? What the fuck is going on!? After multiple, and I mean multiple, attempts, I still don't know what locked apertures use keys and which use bottles. Who the heck opens a door with a bottle anyway?

Honestly, I expected to suffer through numerous runs as I slowly learned what magical items were required to unlock my imprisoned wizard brethren, but the whole keys/bottles ordeal actually proved to be my bane. Unlocking the wizards, though suffering from umpteen runs of trial and error in and of itself, were at least easy to eventually memorize. Ah! I use the chalice in the chateau, the goblet in the wastelands, and so on. But I'll be damned if I can memorize all of those mundane portals spread throughout the lands. Sheesh. I found myself wasting an incalculable amount of time traversing the kingdom in search for keys or bottles because apparently my initial intuition was wrong.

Confusion aside, Sorcery is still a brilliant game. And let's be honest: modern gaming has spoiled us with unnecessary hand holding to the point where we expect the answer to be as plain as day. It's difficult to look at a lot of these old games with the required detachment from modern philosophies. While toying around with CPC emulators as well as a few other old computer emus, I stumbled across a copy of Zork, one of the very first computer games I remember playing that wasn't Oregon Trail or Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? The old text adventures are a perfect example of the old school philosophy of throwing you out to the wolves. Can you survive? Here's a hint book that contains literally no hints - good luck! Sorcery raises the same old school gaming survivalist tactics that we all once loved and accepted but now abhor and punish with slanderous commentary. Yikes! That's me! Damn you, modern gaming industry!

But I find it wrong to disparage Sorcery for its required investigative workload. After all, that's what the entire game is built around. I just wish I had confidence in my key ring. Hate to be a jailer in that kingdom. I'd have to lug around a crate of bottles, shields, and a fleur de lys. Try hanging all of that around your belt loop. No wonder the player can only haul around a single object at any given time.

There is one minor detail that agitated me on each and every attempt - besides the whole key/bottle debacle. I'm well aware that every rescued sorcerer stands waiting within the final room, but I really wish they had placed a counter somewhere on the HUD showing either how many compatriots have been rescued or remain imprisoned. Along with wasting precious book eating moments finding the appropriate device to unlock a door, I often found myself wasting time running back and forth between the Sanctuary and some obscure corner of the kingdom because I realized I miscounted how many prison breaks I successfully orchestrated until it was too late. The final words of the great tome of life would crumble away and I'd find myself wallowing in my own failings.

It may be short and simple, but Sorcery requires a good deal of memorization - be it the required unlocking devices at any given moment, how many fellow wizards I've freed, or whether or not I've unlocked that one trap door before venturing out to the great stone henge. Yep, memorization...memorization and a steady hand to ensure our magical hero doesn't drown in the icy depths of every lake in the kingdom. Boy howdy, did some of those lakes ever infuriate me. Keep hovering, you stupid magical twat. Is it really that difficult? Apparently for me, yes, it is.

Nevertheless, I loved Sorcery, and I've read the sequel only improved the already great gameplay. Sorcery also introduced me to the wonderful world of Amstrad, and I'm looking forward to unearthing other marvels penned for such archaic machinery. And since I'm on the subject, I know I've always ragged on or belittled PC games in general, but I do have a warm appreciation for the various old dinosaurs. In some respects, I think I have my old Apple II to thank for that. A bit depressing to think what may have come of it - scrap most likely. But with gems like Sorcery, I'm all the more eager to try out some of the old, forgotten games little known by those of us who were steeped in console gaming.

Rating: 4 sorcerers with mundane, workaday names out of 5

GB - Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins

Haiku-Review:

erase what we know-
no princess rescuer here;
time to save your home

Additional Comments:

Whether or not it's actually the case, it's always seemed to me that the Game Boy Mario titles got a bit of a bad rap as either straying too far from canon or simply being perceived as kiddie games thanks to their simplistic play and ease of difficulty. But, to be fair, aren't all Mario games guilty of difficulty erring on the side of leisure as opposed to edge of your seat turmoil? Well, at least the 2D titles. I can't exactly speak for any of the 3D stuff, because frankly, I just don't care for them.

I love the Game Boy Mario titles, though I've never played beyond 2. Of course, they're really no longer Mario titles as they are Wario titles by that point. Super Mario Land was a delightful departure from the original Mario games, yet somehow felt familiar enough to prove, in my eyes, a better sequel than Super Mario Panic...er, 2 on the NES. And Super Mario Land 2 was a fantastic reinvention of Super Mario World for the small screen - at least, that's how I always viewed the game thanks to its basic layout. Not unlike Super Mario Land, Super Mario Land 2 was a dramatic deviation from Mario's console titles. Sure, he still jumped his way through fantastic landscapes filled with a myriad of beasts of all shapes and sizes either meeting their fate by Mario's own foot or a fiery flower-induced sphere of pain. Again, there's a certain familiarity to everything, despite exploring the insides of a whale, a giant house - or at least it appears giant to our now miniaturized hero - the moon, or even a nearby star. Surely, these are unknown landscapes for our intrepid plumber, but seeing how Mario games have come to follow a very distinct formula: grasslands, deserts, ice lands, mountains, forests, and volcanic wastelands, I welcome these unique domains with open arms. Even if it is a tad disturbing, I'll gladly navigate the interior workings of a giant whale.

There's still more than enough similarities, even if we aren't on the usual princess rescue mission for the nth time, to merit Super Mario Land 2 as a true to heart Mario game. We're still popping mushrooms out of conveniently placed question blocks and kicking koopa troopas to an untimely demise - though markedly fewer in population it appears. But then, there's the irregularities that sets the game apart as an inside tip for quirkiness and blatant disregard for well known Mario dogma. From Mario's humble beginnings as simple plumber magically warped into the strange Mushroom Kingdom out to liberate the ever so unlucky Princess Toadstool, we've been indoctrinated that 100 coins equates to a 1-up. Ok, ok, Super Doki Bros. Panic already turned our mindsets upside-down by introducing a health system and other such nonsense, but I've never considered that game a proper Mario platformer anyway. Blame laziness on the parts of Nintendo for creating a vast pool of uncertain vagaries muddling up what should be proper Mario mechanics. But that's not the point. Here, the developers chose to drastically change everything we've ever known about Mario's resurrection system. Just because you fancy yourself a coin collector doesn't mean they're going to give out backup lives willy-nilly. No. Instead, life's an investment. You need to save that hard earned cash and gamble it all away much like any poor schmuck throws away a quick hundred on twenty. Then again, you proffer 99 lives for a mere 999 coins - any other Mario game would delegate 9 measly lives for such wealth. So, what's wrong with gambling now?

But truth be told, despite life's riches in comparison to a typical Mario game, the gambling hall feels awkward. Even the poor man's casino offering fire flowers and carrots seems inappropriate, especially considering Super Mario World's start+select feature is carried over. Not only that, on the whole, lives are very easy to come by; surprising considering the 100 coin / life conversion ratio is lacking. Following in the footsteps of the original Super Mario Land, Super Mario Land 2 carried over the bonus game, now tradition, upon level victory. You've got to ring a bell to guarantee eligibility, but that's the least of Mario's worries when it comes to any sort of difficulty. Nearly half of the bonus game bells are practically in Mario's preferred trajectory. Play a few bonus games, obtain a few hearts, and before you know it, Mario is hauling around a sizable trunk of donor hearts should he ever fall victim to a wee beastie or an ill-fated leap to his doom. In some respects, with perhaps the exception of Super Mario World itself, or the New Super Mario Bros. series, Super Mario Land 2 is one of the easiest games to farm lives without even trying.

Another interesting quirk includes altered physics. Perhaps this isn't that phenomenal when you consider something like, say the Frog Suit in Super Mario Bros. 3 which suddenly negates Mario's swim physics, but then again, that's alteration by powerup. Super Mario Land 2, with its epic journey taking Mario into the dark unknown depths of space, alters Mario's ability without the use of aids. But is it really that odd, or unsuspected? After all, science tells us that gravity is lessened on the moon, therefore it only makes sense that Mario bounds without care across the cratered surface. It's the attention to detail that I love, but it's Mario's weird floaty behavior in The Star that makes one question the mechanic. I suppose it's not so much the general floatiness, but how it's controlled. I can't help but feel something more akin to SMB3's frog suit mechanics would have worked better. Instead, the controls lack confidence. It works when Mario is trapped in the hippo's bubble, but it just feels off in the far reaches of space.

Overall, though, the game is a blast. I loved the game as a kid when it first came out, and I still find it to be one of my favorite Mario games. Sure, the game errs on the easier end of the difficulty spectrum, but interestingly enough, for the purpose of Beat All Games, this is the first time I've ever beaten the game. Despite long car trips allowing me to soldier on through this mysterious new world, I time and again faltered upon reaching Wario's castle. For one reason or another, that level got the better of me. I think Mario's wonky jump physics and general slipperiness is to blame for the most part. I know for a fact that the fourth propeller lift on the second floor ended a majority of my attempts. Others - most likely short-lived out of stupidity. Even now, that one sprite bested me a few times, but it turned out the crushable skull platforms proved to be my bane this round. Dubious jumping be damned and carrots a godsend. Sadly, the third floor was an anticlimactic run to victory guarded by what appeared to be a rather threatening boss but turned out to be a three phase letdown when you consider those who preceded him, namely Tatanga and the Three Little Pigheads - neither of which are worthy of the term difficult; perhaps more so annoying. I think though, knowing what has come to be Wario's bag of dirty tricks, I expected more from his battle. I know it's his first appearance, but I didn't expect obesity to be the only trait traced back to his origins. Oh well.

One last note I must make. I never knew the game had an alternate Easy Mode. The game's already easy enough. Was this really necessary? I find this to be one of the most bizarre departures taken by the developers. Of course, there isn't exactly a sizable list of comparisons to draw upon - Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Land both offered B Modes once the game was completed which equated to an extra generous helping of evil denizens for Mario's stomping pleasure. With Super Mario Land 2's Easy Mode, however, the levels become near vacuums devoid of all life. The amount of sprites stripped from the game is simply astounding, to the point where I felt foolish playing it. Stranger still, there's no options prompt letting you know such a mode exist. This can be normal in regards to harder difficulties, especially on older games where those in the know were privy to the truly challenging, but to hide away a less challenging variant is just...perplexing.

Nano-Win:

Star Maze. That is all.

Rating: 4.5 J Sons out of 5

GEN - Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Haiku-Review:

heroes need sidekicks
but is Tails worthy the name?
heroes don't need dicks

Additional Comments:

Yet another fond Genesis memory from yesteryear, my earliest recollections consist of battling through the two player mode at a friend's house for hours on end. Between navigating Mystic Cave, taking leisure in Casino Night, or simply balls to the wall head to head action on the half pipe, my earliest experiences with Sonic the Hedgehog 2 were bursting with thrills and excitement. Sadly, I recall little if any single player antics from those early days, but then, that was a long time ago - Christmas of '92 / early '93 or thereabouts I suspect.

Several years later, I found myself with my own copy of the game and while any hopes at a two player effort may have gone out the window, I was able to dive into the single player head first. Right from the start, and I can trace my opinions on the matter to those days in the early 90s, the levels exploded with creativity, speed, and outright grandeur over Sonic's initial foray on the Genesis hardware. Levels such as Chemical Plant, the aforementioned Casino Night and Mystic Cave, Metropolis, and Wing Fortress proved the game's superiority, yet I somehow always found myself returning to Sonic's roots. For me, Green Hill trumped Emerald Hill - always had, and likely always will. Maybe it's just the nostalgia, or maybe it's the music. But then there's greats like Marble Zone and Starlight. Ok, Aquatic Ruins is definitely the preferable water level, but...but.... Why am I so drawn to the original when there are so many advancements in platforming trickery present in the blue hedgehog's second 16-bit outing? I'll admit that Sonic the Hedgehog 3 and Sonic & Knuckles haven't exactly paid favors to Sonic the Hedgehog 2, but that's a story for another time and for the purpose of the here and now, I'm choosing to neglect such hearsay.

Whether I'm a victim of nostalgia glasses or not regarding the better game, I can't deny what Sonic the Hedghog 2 brought to the table. Unlike his first adventure, Sonic can now spin dash - a massive improvement in game mechanics and honestly, after playing a Sonic game that includes said feature then returning to the original game; it's a wonder how you ever functioned without it. Ugh, those unbearable hill climbs where you had to backtrack and make appropriate use of distance whereas in Sonic 2 we can easily zip up and over any obstacle with ease. It's akin to Mega Man's slide. I love Mega Man 2, but good god, without his slide I always feel like I'm playing half a game. And if that's the case, wouldn't Sonic the Hedgehog suffer the same? How dare I imply the possibility that Sonic 2 is an inferior game. Maybe I'm just choosing my words poorly.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is by no means inferior to the first game. If anything, it's knocked it out with a quick one-two punch: enhanced mechanics including a semi co-op component, and a vast cross section of creative level settings. And even though by the numbers Sonic 2 only has two more levels, if I'm not mistaken, it almost feels like there's close to a dozen more. By dumping the three acts per zone format in favor of two acts, with a couple of exceptions, Sonic 2 suddenly became a grand adventure through some truly interesting and somewhat bizarre locals - Oil Ocean anyone? Seriously, what other game would pit their hero on a complicated network of oil rigs? I love it! Well, I love the idea of it - Oil Ocean has never been one of my favorite zones to play through. Goddamn Aquis has an uncanny ability to nail me no matter how I approach the situation. Though I don't know what's worse, Aquis or Slicer. Slicer may take top honors only because he seems to interrupt the game's pace more than any other enemy lest you're willing to tank a hit. But it seems I've found myself astray of my original point.

Sonic 2's so-called co-op feature was...interesting to say the least. While it technically allowed a second player into the single player game, it actually played poster boy to the equivalency of a slap in the face. Oh sure, you can play two players...for approximately three seconds every fifteen seconds or so if you're lucky. The idea that Tails equates to co-op mode is mysterious at best, in that it makes you wonder if Sega was making a serious attempt at such a mechanic here or not. I've never understood who would willingly play second fiddle knowing full and well it's nowhere near an actual gaming experience. It's such a bizarre integration of this so-called co-op. On the bright side, at least Sega realized this faux multiplayer would fool no one and integrated a fully playable two player aspect via split screen stage races. And though it's a shame only three zones are utilized, I commend them for their picks; not to mention the ability to run the Special Stage, which in my opinion is where the half pipe truly shines.

Ah yes, the Special Stage's half pipe - so much fun, yet so much frustration rolled into one neat little package. Attempting to get the Chaos Emeralds in single player mode is an unmitigated disaster, especially if Tails is along for the ride. But the real issue is the coin barriers leave little to no room for error. Compared to Sonic the Hedgehog's Special Stage, or heck, even Sonic 3's Special Stage, Sonic 2's asks too much of the player. Whereas the other two games present areas that do offer a challenge, they're not unforgiving. In fact, they're rather easy going. Maybe I'm just bitter over Tails' ineptitude to properly mimic Sonic when it matters most. Stupid fox!

The one upside to Sonic 2's mechanics regarding the Special Stage is the opportunity to gain all of the Chaos Emeralds by the end of Chemical Plant Zone Act 1; even earlier is you do some cheaty menu manipulations apparently. However, Super Sonic is an annoyance like no other, and other than perhaps wanting to 100% the game by getting the good ending, it's not worth chasing the emeralds down. Super Sonic is a complete uncontrollable bastard. I'd rather make one block jumps using Mario's ice physics from Super Mario World than play with this overzealous idiot.

Despite these shortcomings, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 should still be a clear victor over the original. It's just...it doesn't quite come together for me, but where it does come together it does so beautifully. Another of those beautiful moments, like all of the early Sonic games, is the music. Whether it's Chemical Plant Zone, Metropolis Zone, or the relaxing Sky Chase Zone, the songs are simply fantastic. But can anything trump those fat synths rolling along in Mystic Cave Zone? I think not.

Overall, a fantastic game for any Sonic fan, or heck, any fan of platformers in general. For the everyday man, yes, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 outshines Sonic the Hedgehog without contention, but for me it's going to have to put up a fight. But I'm not exactly your average gamer, so go and enjoy this incredible gem of a game and a milestone in Sonic's early career.

Nano-Rant:

But I can't possibly end it there without talking about what a true rapscallion Tails is. Fuck that, he's a grade A asshole! There's a certain enjoyment about playing the game on Sonic & Tails mode. It feels right, seeing Tails, the carefree sidekick trying his best to keep up with his hero. But my god, how many times I fell victim to his mischievous ways or his general disregard for Sonic's well being. Hill Top's version of Robotnik is the best example of this - Tails sneaking in an extra hit only to initiate Robotnik's brief invincibility so I can fall to my doom in the pool of lava. Fuck off, Tails! You are not helping! Other examples include Tails preemptively activating various lifts or platforms as I fall to my death. I never liked you anywaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

What a jerk.

Rating: 4.5 biplanes out of 5