I feel the knife's soul
envelope my whole being
as I slash ninjas
Additional Comments:
Knife in the Park - what a fantastic title! I don't care what this game's on about, I throw my overwhelming support for such poetry itself. I culled this game from the darkest depths of the internet's forgotten void, where yesterday's websites, hosted files, and opinionated tirades go to die. In fact, Knife in the Park is so deeply suppressed in the archival ether that for the first time in Beat All Games' history, I had to take a screenshot of the game because even the vast ubiquity of the intrawebz failed to provide one. Like most of the unwanted fodder that floods the abyss of abandoned intellectual property, it's probable Knife in the Park's been left rotting with good cause. The likelihood that anyone will dare follow my footsteps and resurrect this five minute time killer from its digital grave is laughable. I can only chuckle at myself for doing that very thing, but then, how can you pass up something with a title like that?
In all honesty, I feel I could write a short essay on the title alone and what images manifested themselves within my mind - certainly not the quaint city park pictured above - as I contemplated learning more about this unusual suspect. I could only hope for the perfect imagery to compliment the title - the perfect gameplay. It stirred memories on a personal level regarding theme. Please, understand, I don't mean personal as in personal experience with knives and parks or any sort of twisted assemblage of the two, but in a manner of intellectual property striking mood or eerily unnerving gravitas. Consider it all TMI if you must.
But alas, much like its little brother, the incorrigible flash game, of which Knife in the Park may be better suited, my hopes were dashed by the menial task to slay my own boredom as I lazily washed my mouse back and forth over the mouse pad spilling the guts of every Tom, Dick, and Harry out to assassinate our immobile hero. That's not to say it's bad. It's...interesting. I'll give it that. But it's interesting for about two minutes and then it's time to move onto something else - again, much like 99% of the flash-based gaming world. However, at times, these games serve their purpose as does Knife in the Park. Got five minutes to kill while waiting for that troublesome download to finish; only three minutes to Wapner? Double click that pesky executable and slay some nettlesome ninjas with your sentient kitchen knife while you wait. Why the hell not?
What other options do I have? Stare blankly at the screen counting the seconds? I could always tackle Minesweeper for the nth time. Eh...tough call as they both exude about the same amount of quickly fading fun and excitement. Scratch that! Knife in the Park is a welcome alternative. In some respects, it reminds me of the old Adult Swim flash game, Five Minutes to Kill Yourself - just enough charm to hold your attention long enough to fully appreciate the game, which thankfully is quick and to the point. And from most games of this caliber, that's all I ask. So in all fairness, Knife in the Park succeeded.
But that doesn't mean it can just skate on by without the usual wag of the finger. There are issues. Well, it's hard to bolster such claims since there's so little to actually criticize, but there is one particular fault that's hard to overlook. Without lambasting the graphics in anyway, as I feel it would be unfair to a point, I have to question some of the aesthetic decisions concerning the blood splatters. After butchering a couple dozen ninja foes, the streets, the park, even the buildings become so caked in a gooey murder death scene that it begins to become difficult to pick out the latest wave of enemies. If only the splatters remained true to cliché gaming bloody goodness - that is splotches of red and only red instead of incorporating the ninja's blue clothing. Do those pixels of blue represent the living or the dead? Oh shit! They belonged to my accursed foes! I'm dead, and my honor, disgraced. The only thing left is ritual suicide. Or better yet; another common mechanic found across many games, why can't the blood function on a timer and disappear over time? Ah...who am I kidding? Should I really have expected polish from an archaic little time killer crafted a decade ago in Game Maker? What foolish expectations I hold.
Still, with a few improvements, Knife in the Park could have been far more tantalizing. And I'm talking simple improvements. For starters, let me see my score as I play instead of waiting around for a tragic end. Secondly, some sort of tier or level functionality would have done the game wonders as opposed to an incessant will to slaughter our lone hero in broken waves of ninja warriors - which seemed very random in its implementation. Some times only one or two ninjas would trickle out from the shadows and then I'd be left waiting for an eternity for the next wave of one or two lackeys. Other times, a mass barrage would pummel me from all directions, but it was never properly scaled over time. My highest scoring game, which led me to calling the game complete as it seems the game is endless, dragged on mercilessly as only a few stragglers came out to face the music at a time.
Ah, well. The game succeeded in its mission at least in that its functional and pulled me out of my rut for a good five or ten minutes. That's more than most flash games can manage, and even small victories like that account for something...I suppose. Maybe?
Rating: 2 audiovideo stores out of 5*
*Be aware, nearly 80% of that rating is thanks to the title. Ha!
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