a proposition:
force wide-angled gunfire
in cramped corridors
Additional Comments:
Fester's Quest is a game I never owned until recently, but somehow I played the hell out of it as a kid. I don't recall ever renting this game and I can't think of anyone who owned it so I'm a bit befuddled over the whole matter. What I do remember, however, is despite the countless hours I put into this game in my younger days, I never made it anywhere. I don't think I ever saw what lies beyond the initial sewer. Heck, I think the first time I even entered one of the 3D mazes was a few years ago while I casually played it via emulation. But then again, I may be imagining that and very likely confusing it with AVGN's video, which is rather depressing on my part. And the only reason I'm second guessing myself is that I didn't recognize any of the latter sections of the first sewer. Hmm, the more I think about it, I may have succumbed to claustrophobia within the initial sewer on that particular attempt as well. Damn!
Because of the limited ground covered I always thought that the house north of the starting point was the end of the game. Fester's Quest sort of fell into the same boat occupied by Battletoads. The beginning of the game was balls hard enough that it led to an errant hypothesis that the game can't possibly be that long. Who knew that there would be nine more stages after Turbo Tunnel? I knew for certain there were three more, but honestly, I thought that's all there was. Same here. I always thought Fester's Quest consisted of the first overworld area, the sewer area, a second overworld area (which was to the north of the giant ditch in the road), and that the end goal was the aforementioned house. Perhaps it's just naivety on my part, but in a way it made perfect sense given how fucking difficult it was to traverse the underworld.
I never completely grasped the upgrades and downgrades as a kid either, or so I assume. I naturally have to assume this because I don't recall ever obtaining anything better than a level four or five gun. No wonder I faced such adversity in the sewers - I never found myself with the proper equipment required for the job at hand. Sonuvabitch!!! Looking at the game now, I can only imagine that I was nothing more than ignorant when it came to simple gaming mechanics such as the upgrade/downgrade system used, but in my defense, the system is ignorant for existing in the first place. Yes, it's a clever idea, but given that gun levels one through six are entirely pointless in any given situation it renders the system moot outside of purely aggravating the player. If either the overworld/sewers were designed with some of the various guns in mind and/or the enemies, I could completely see the system working. Unfortunately, both the overworld and sewers consist of nothing but cramped conditions where nearly every gun's erratic spray is blotted out of existence. What kind of shitty ammunition is Fester using anyways? A lot of these elliptical or sine wave patterns would potentially be great in an STG with unlimited space, but in a close quarters labyrinth it's just asinine.
Once equipped with the proper upgrade, the game is a breeze. Even those replicating slimes are no match for a grade-eight gun. Ok, they still take some time to kill, but I personally fancy the gun over the whip in most situations. I know the whip is the more powerful and much preferred weapon (or at least the recommended weapon) and can pretty much annihilate anything in one or two hits, but I'll suffer the weakness of the gun if that means not having to fret over an accidental item pickup. Yea, what bullshit is this? Let's make a weapon that can pickup item drops, but let's make sure half of the item drops are weapon downgrades. It's like the programmers wanted to make the game as aggravating as possible at every turn. It's not frustrating, or difficult even, it's just a kick in the dick for the sake of dick-kicking.
But the crème de la crème has undoubtedly got to be the continue feature in regards to game progress. During my latest playthrough, I suffered three deaths; my first two completely legit. My first death happened shortly after the first sewer and had little effect on my disposition towards the overworld, but my second death, which happened within mere footsteps of the final boss, made me realize how idiotic both the continue feature and overworld design is. I see very little point in the continue feature as it stands. Sure, bosses don't need to be repeated and you retain what items you had upon death, but that's not really any consolation given the situation. You have to traverse the entirety of the overworld and sewer system all over again, plus any required 3D mazes. What the fuck!? Having a death early in the game, it's not that big of a deal, but dying within inches of the final boss and it's enough to make you throw the controller through the TV screen. Fortunately, when all is said and done, the game isn't actually all that long, but that's still no excuse. I just recently praised Dungeon Explorer for cutting out the bullshit of repetitive overworld exploration upon death, despite some of the confusion it caused. Why couldn't Sunsoft figure out such a novel idea? For instance after the first boss is killed, the ditch in the road could have been filled. Maybe some passageways could be opened up here or there. This game could have benefited immensely from such an approach.
As far as my third death, I committed suicide after realizing item replenishment was limited to boss kills and gift-giving family members, and well, I was already too far into the game to willingly backtrack for some potions. I stupidly assumed that items would be replenished after passing through the 3D mazes where bosses once resided. Eh, it sounded logical since I had to pass through the pointless buildings all over again, but alas, not so. And to be honest, I did attempt to backtrack, but I fell into a downward spiral of weapon downgrades which further lumped a bunch of anger onto my already monstrous shit stack from having to start at the beginning after being within an earshot of victory.
Needless to say, the developers managed to chock up everything that would have actually made the game brilliant and chucked it all out the window and instead implemented a cornucopia of moronic devices such as a meaningless upgrade/downgrade system, incomprehensibly incessant enemy respawn points that are especially frustrating with a downgraded weapon, and 3D mazes that serve no purpose other than elongating the game - they're not even all that labyrinthine. It's all a bit sad, really, because on the surface, Fester's Quest isn't that bad of a game. Unfortunately, it suffers from extremely noticeable flaws, such as the various gun sprays. It'd be one thing if this was a game made by someone like LJN, but we're talking about Sunsoft who seldom overlooks such a massive issue.
I hate to derail this game so much because I remember loving it as a kid, even if I never made it anywhere, and I still enjoy the game for some strange reason. But at the same time, I just cannot overlook all that is glaringly wrong with this game. If Sunsoft hadn't fucked this game up so much or you know, put it through some actual QC, I think the game could have easily been a top rated NES game. Even the music is lackluster. I'm wondering if I should bother showcasing anything, or if there's even anything worth showcasing. Guess I'll just pick something at random - maybe the Sewers Theme.
Nano-Rant:
The final boss is a pathetic joke!
Rating: 3 speedboats out of 5
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