with luck will I find
these wee damnable creatures -
thank god for Savers!
Additional Comments:
What a ridiculous game. No, seriously, mixing pocket monster collecting with the age old scraps of arcades and bars - ye olde pinball machine. But alas, pinball in console form has always been weak tea at best. Pinball will never be pinball without the fast-paced, bumper to bumper, ball-spinning action, and without the ability to really throw your weight into the side of the machine, well tilting just isn't the same - just an embarrassing attempt at imitation. Nevertheless, I've always found myself attracted to console pinball games. Yea, I know they suck compared to the real thing, but still, it's pinball. There's just something about popping that ball through all of the clever contraptions and raking in the thousands upon millions of points. Hell, I remember playing Pinball on the NES way back when as a little kid and loving it. Talk about a crappy pinball mock-up, that game was awful, but it was fun and I was entertained for hours trying to bag the high score.
So, while perusing through some games, I had the desire to play some retro console pinball games. While looking through my NES games, I began wondering what some of the more modern updates might be like, so I delved into some GBA games (ok, maybe modern isn't the right term here, but figuring I mostly play stuff from the 8-bit/16-bit era, yea the GameBoy Advance is modern). I dug up a game called Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire. Eh, did I really want to play more Pokémon stuff? Well, it was pinball so why not? Honestly, the game surprised me. It was really enjoyable and the addition of a collection element burgeoned a whole new dimension of fun that I just wasn't expecting. But after a while I got to thinking that there had to be a predecessor to Ruby & Sapphire, otherwise why add the parenthetical? After some digging around, I found exactly what I was looking for.
After collecting about 150 Pokémon, I disparaged over stepping away to play what would obviously be an inferior game, due to the evident limitations between the GameBoy Color and the GameBoy Advance. But as I've stated before, I would like to try and knock out a series in sequential order if and when possible. And my immediate impressions were just that; I was suddenly playing a lackluster title. After fumbling around both the Red and Blue boards for a bit and managing to collect a couple dozen Pokémon, I just wasn't experiencing the same level of enjoyment that I was with Ruby & Sapphire. And after finding out what I had to do to get Mew, forget about it. I mean, come on. The Mewtwo bonus stage is ridiculous enough as it is, but I've got to do it twice? You've got to be kidding me! Jirachi wasn't even this much of a chore to obtain in the follow-up. But then, figuring that Mew is absolutely impossible to get outside of cheats or glitches in R/B/Y, I guess I should be happy that Mew is this easy to obtain.
Eventually though, the game started to grow on me. Maybe it was just time, after all I've been slowly playing this over the past few months steadily building up my Pokémon database. And for a while, I just enjoyed it for what it was at its core - a pinball game. I spent hours trying to tally an impossibly high score, which isn't all that hard to do by the way once you open up the Mewtwo bonus stage but purposefully fail to complete it. I already had Mew, so why bother? But then the time came where I just wanted to get it over with and finish compiling my Pokédex, which is no easy feat. Some of those rares are damn near impossible to find, especially Pinsir, but more on that later.
Anyways, what started as a simple bump in the road turned out to be a decent game. True, I don't see this as a title that I can sell someone on - one part Pokémon, two parts lame-ass console-based pinball - bleaggh!! But it managed to accomplish exactly what a console pinball game should be, and that's all that counts for me. Besides, add in a bit of a collection mechanic to make it carry a bit more merit than just simply a high score and I'm totally game. It's a time-killer really, and other than offering top score bragging rights, isn't that what pinball is all about?
As far as music? Well as usual, and just like the music from any Pokémon game, I found it wholly detestable upon first listen, but over time it somehow grew on me until I eventually realize that all Pokémon games actually have great music. However, I'm still suspicious that it's all just a dirty trick. Since nearly all Pokémon games last for an ungodly amount of hours, you're forced to listen to these themes for days on end, so it's only natural that you'll grow to like it...or shoot yourself somewhere along the way, praying for tinnitus to set in so you don't have to listen to this cheeky bullshit anymore. Then again, I've spent an unprecedented amount of time on both Morrowind and Oblivion and I still hate the title tracks in those games. Anyways, try out the Blue Field: Catch 'em/Evolution Mode or Seel Bonus Stage for your listening pleasure.
(a not so Nano)-Rant:
Now then, let's talk about Pinsir and what a rat bastard that insectoid, clawed fucker is. The amount of time I spent trying to find this asshole was completely unwarranted. First of all, Mew, who in theory, should be the hardest Pokémon to come by, I managed to capture before I even had 50 total in the database. The thing about Mew is that you have a very specific set of guidelines that need to be followed - beat these games, beat these games again, travel to Indigo Plateau and then you have a 1 in XX chance that it'll appear (XX supposedly ranging anywhere from 16 to 32). Beyond this, I've seen various other arguments for objectives that must be completed in order to catch Mew - I certainly can't vouch for the validity of anything else, although I will admit that I had a Master Ball when I caught Mew. And you know what, Mew was the third Pokémon I had appear after completing the prerequisites.
So, what do we have to do to get Pinsir? Well, other than sit around in Celadon City (or Safari Zone?) - a whole lot of rinse and repeat in regards to Catch 'em Mode and having a hell of a lot of patience. Goddamn, you need some patience to coax this guy into appearing. At this point, I had 150/151 Pokémon (note that my Pokédex actually read 150/150 because I hadn't even seen Pinsir yet). I only had one stupid little creature left to bag and what did I have to rely on? The worst fucking RNG in gaming I've ever seen!!! There it is - it's all on the table now. Random Number Generators: they're great when they work but damn, do they just suck all the joy out of a game when they don't. I don't know how many hours I spent, but it was a good three or four days by the time I picked off my 150th Pokémon until I finally said "Fuck this!" and decided to GameShark it. I had a real bad feeling that was going to be how it all came to an end, and I tried my damnedest to avoid the inevitable. But after three or four days of fighting with a pissant RNG, I just couldn't take it anymore.
Code in hand, I caught Pinsir and quickly gave the game screen the bird. Yea, a big FU will show that game who's boss. I let the rest of my balls trickle into oblivion so I could end this thing (which took forever in itself since I had racked up so many Again's by this point), and sauntered on over to the Pokédex to bask in my 151/151 glory. Wait.... What!? 150/151!?!?!? I saw Pinsir but didn't catch him? What the hell, man!? Well, I guess the game got the last laugh after all...or did it?
As infuriated as I was over the whole matter to begin with, I wasn't going down with this bullshit. No way.... But I also had no desire to wrangle the RNG either, so I entered the code once more, caught Pinsir and proceeded to level him through Evo Mode. Take that, you fucking game - 151/151!! Yea, maybe I had to cheat to take it down, but with an RNG that broken and stubborn, I feel no remorse.
(Hmm, I think I managed more expletives in this one rant than I have in the whole blog to date. [/over-exaggeration])
Rating: 3 damnable RNG's out of 5
No comments:
Post a Comment